Letting Go and Forgiveness

October 24, 2008

I felt utter peace. I have never experienced such a feeling and felt I had to understand why this was all of a sudden originating into my life. So I set out on a spiritual journey…

Last weekend was even more exciting. I held had a little party on Saturday night, my family has been weird and so it was an interesting process. I am only very close to my mom, and i hardly talk to the rest. Just wouldn’t click. Maybe we are too greatly different in characters.

Letting Go

Since teens, I had my family who is overly negative and include an underlying pretense. I will never forget feeling both of my family’s negative and positive energies meshed with in the room. Many of times I had to leave the room or simply zone out because of the insane pretense ideas coming from my family would make anyone go mad.

That day, I stood outside in the cold and my buddy stepped out to have a cigarette and made the comment that I looked as if I was immersed deep in thought.

This broke it all open. I looked her in the eye and said, you know. I am.. I just can’t understand why I have to live under the ideas my family has instilled into me.

She looked me in the eye and said “Jackie, do you stand behind who you are?”

I thought for a brief moment, looked up and said yes! YES I do stand behind who I am. She then said JUST LET GO.

My buddy seemed larger than life and wiser than sages at this moment, despite her small frame.

She told me that as long as I was ok with who I was, I did not have to allow these pretenses to be attached to every bit of my social exchanges.

This was the wisest words she had ever uttered as she’s always been out of sorts at times. Suddenly i felt i was an old hag grumbling about life and laced with negativity while she was in a newly married bliss, full of positive energy and looking expectantly into life ahead.

In that moment I let go. My mind sat quite for the rest of the evening…

We enjoyed a wonderful evening and although I felt dumber than a sack, I had no negative thought, feeling or fear enter my personal space for the rest of the night.

I have never experienced such as amazing feeling…

So I began digging deeper and deeper. Devouring information related to letting go, from Maria Duval, of forgiveness and of course awareness and awakening.

I look forward to getting to know all of you and to being a part of such an a wonderful place

Thank you allowing me to share,

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