Resolving the resentment

April 23, 2007

Over the weekend, I met up an ex-colleague, Kate. We had remained in regular contact since I left the company and she is one of my best friends now. It’s fun to be in her company and we really get well together. While we were on a way to attend my ex-boss wedding ceremony I had a chance to talk to Kate.

I asked Kate how is her relationship with her elder brother. I knew they had a big flare-up last year over the inheritance and were on the verge renouncing the sibling tie. It’s amazing what money can do to the spiritual ties if left unchecked. I thought they had patched up recently but apparently they had got worse. While I talked to Kate, I could sense her acrimony and anger in her self. She told me the story and how selfish and wrong her brother’s family had been to her. The old congeniality had gone to shreds.

Kate was very hurt and she told me she was trying all sorts of ways to make ‘them’ see how wrong ‘they’ were. Well, Kate was obviously spending a great deal of energy and feeling horribly resentful towards her own family member. And worse is that she is working herself into a very negative state. I am in no position to offer comments but I told her something spiritual from Maria Duval which I hope she would understand in the end.

The truth is that many of us do this regularly and there is a great obsession how we can either get revenge when we felt we are unfairly treated. But we don’t even realize that by doing this we’re hurting ourselves, while the target of our anger is most likely completely oblivious to the sea of negativity we are swimming in supposedly because of them. Why not just channel this negative anger to something that is positive and instead of finding differences, work to find out how to best sort it out. Being angry and hurtful is probably not going to make them change and they may not be even aware of the anger! In the end, you are creating more and more negativities in your life.

Do not misunderstand that I am saying you must be the party to give way or being nice to your foe. Look at the situation from a different perspective. The perspective is this: How is this affecting me and is it worth it to me to carry on like this. It’s just that, anger is an energy and for every action, there is a reaction energy exerted in your spirituality. Probably, you are the one who are more hurt instead. Thanks Maria Duval for this insight.

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